A woman has expressed her deep hurt and confusion after her boyfriend admitted he prefers paying for sex with workers rather than engaging in intimacy with her. She revealed that her boyfriend finds passionate connection with her unappealing, stating that he only desires ‘dirty sex’ and that intimacy feels too real or safe for him.
Her boyfriend claims this issue stems from a lifelong pattern: as soon as he develops genuine affection and respect for a woman, his sexual performance falters. This revelation has left the reader heartbroken and feeling rejected, questioning the fairness of their otherwise happy relationship outside the bedroom.
Agony aunt Jane O’Gorman suggests the boyfriend consider professional help to address his views on sex. She questions whether he perceives sex as inherently ‘dirty’ or if he believes his partner is too ‘precious’ to touch, indicating a potential psychological barrier.
O’Gorman advises the reader to prioritize her own mental health and self-confidence. She encourages her to assess her willingness to invest in a relationship where she feels consistently devalued and to remember that other fulfilling relationships are possible.
In a separate dilemma, a woman laments her friend’s apparent amnesia regarding past support. She recounts years of financial and practical assistance, including contributions to her friend’s wedding and childcare, only to find her friend now distant and materialistic.
The friend, who has a new wealthy partner, now rarely answers calls and flaunts her materialistic lifestyle on social media. The reader feels a sense of entitlement to remind her friend of past kindnesses, despite advice to let the friendship go.
Jane O’Gorman suggests that expecting gratitude may lead to ongoing disappointment. She posits that the friend may be seeking to distance herself from her past or is simply moving forward with her new life. She reminds the reader that while past support was given, dwelling on it with anger is detrimental.
Another reader is troubled by recurring dreams of intimacy with other women, while her partner never features in these nocturnal fantasies. She confessed this to her girlfriend, who is now upset and feels insecure about their relationship.
O’Gorman reassures the dreamer that dreams are beyond conscious control and do not constitute infidelity. She advises him to cease discussing his dreams with his partner and to reaffirm his love and commitment to her.
Finally, a woman suspects her friend’s teenage daughter is stealing from her collection of vintage clothing and jewelry. The 15-year-old frequently asks to view and borrow items, and since her visits, several valuable pieces have gone missing, though proof is lacking.
O’Gorman cautions against making accusations without concrete evidence, especially with a minor. She empowers the homeowner to set boundaries by politely declining requests to view or borrow personal belongings, emphasizing her right to privacy and the protection of her possessions.
